Christmas is a time for family. It’s a time to gather around your loved ones, whether you’re Christian or not. Warning, I’m american and my views are filtered through a very american lens. Society has shaped itself in this country around Judeo-Christian values, and Hanukkah and Christmas are big holidays in those religions. So society encourages us to gather around and feel loved and to love. It’s not a bad concept, once you strip away the commercialism of it all, this season is actually pretty darn great.
I have always loved Christmas. And the way I was raised, I get two! How cool is that? My father is an Irish Catholic so I get Christmas. My mother is agnostic but her family is Russian Orthodox so I also get Epiphany (aka “Little Christmas ” or “Russian Christmas “). I get two wonderful times full of love and stories, memories shared and more memories made. It’s what Christmas is all about. At least in my view.
This season will be a bit different. I will be at my parents house. My awesome niece will be there. We probably won’t have snow (it’s supposed to be 70 tomorrow with a chance of thunderstorms! WTF?!) But there will be cookies made, cartoons watched and all other sorts of awesomeness. I’ll have a huge chunk of my family present, and if Santa does exist my cousin who is serving overseas will be able to call. That will be awesome! More than awesome. I really hope he can .
This year I will have a tinge of discomfort in the back of my mind amongst all the warmth and joy. Bio womb….she might stop by. She knows where my parents live. My mother, kind hearted and thinks everyone is good if given the chance, had her over at the beginning of this saga. She meant well. But it didn’t go well. If bio womb shows up, it could be at best awkward. At worst the police will be called. Maybe I should get that restraining order. Over at First Mothers Forum it was suggested I get one.
Except I know she’ll break it. I think I’m an obsession to her, not a person. She did that with bio sister Michelle when she found out where the foster parents lived. So she will violate that flimsy piece of paper and then she’ll be arrested. She still has a daughter at home.
So even if my Christmas is ruined, is it fair of me to wreck someone else’s? Do I have that right? Or should I just grit my teeth and ignore her and her scenes, hoping she’ll go away?