Do you know the worst part about being adopted? When people think you’re broken, or should be. Apparently I should be teeming with resentment and abandonment issues. I should have felt that I was never a part of my family and that without a “genetic mirror” my life is forever empty.
My bio mom is perhaps the worst. I’ve made the decision to stop this reunion (which she sought, I NEVER did) right in its tracks because I honestly think she is crazy. Constant messages, demands for pictures from my childhood but not with my real parents or siblings, demands to talk to my boyfriend and the attempted guilt trip.
Let me tell you, telling someone that she is pretty much the reason for your misery and unhappy life is not the way to go about things. Emailing me constantly (I received 27 emails over three days) is also excessive. She emailed me at my college account which isn’t hard to figure out. I’ve had her relegated to spam. I’m nervous she’s going to show up. I’m afraid she’s going to start harassing my parents.
I’m sorry she can’t get over it. I’m the star pupil in the school of “suck it up.” I have no patience for those who wallow and try to use guilt or other passive aggressive methods to get their way. If she missed me “so much” She can go on missing me. Because I don’t miss her, I never have.
I’m sure many bio mom’s are going to say I’m unfair and I should be compassionate to her needs but I am a normal human being. Her needs do not supercede mine. They never will. And to the snotty search “angel” who said my future children will be mad at me for not having that psycho in their lives….I plan to not tell them I’m adopted. Their grandma and Grandpa will be the awesome people that raised me. That never put me through hell because they felt “bad and empty.” The ones that blamed me for only things that were my fault (like crashing the car when I was 17 or failing gym class in 8th grade). The ones who unconditionally love me, support me and never tell me only I can heal the “pain” by submitting to their demands.
These are things I can never say to other people who don’t know me, like on a forum, because they will immediately jump all over me.
In this single, isolated case I can say my bio mom owes me an apology. That this reunion was never meant to be. That I don’t feel bad about it at all. That the worst thing that has ever happened to me is this crazy person putting a misguided (possibly evil) search “angel” on my trail and forcing me into this situation where if she continues, I will get a restraining order.